Faded

In reflection of my past, 

I have realized quite a few things. 

1. Even though I am a very strong person mentally, emotionally, and physically...some how I was twisted  and changed, faded into a person that I didnt like and didnt want to be. I became a faded representation of myself two better someone else. Someone who didnt even want my help, come to find out. I became trapped into a world of bullshit and I was almost like a 2nd class citizen in my own house. And it was all because I allowed it to happen...why?

2. I am one resilient and determined individual! When I realized that I had faded into this shadow of a person, I got back on my feet. I got up and worked my ass off to get back to reality and to be better than I once was. I am not claiming that I am perfect now, there is always room more improvement, but I am MUCH better than I was. Even in the face of death, losing myself entirely, a life of regret and devistation, I pushed through and tried. 

Most people cannot say that. 

Most people never even live. They one exist. 

I want to live. I want to grow. I want to experience all that life has to offer and leave this world a better place than when I finally woke the hell up and most of all, I want my daughter to never have to struggle on whether to live or not. I never want to see that she is only existing. 

So, I dont care what I have to do, I am going to make sure she gets to go to Disney world, we travel together out of the country, she goes to schools for the gifted and talented (because she is and I was never able to take that opportunity), and my wall of pictures spans the whole house. Memories arnt meant to be locked into a book or box. Let them out and let others see the light that is residing inside of you! Some will try to put it out but always remember the only reason they do that is because their light was taken away, they are jealous of the spark you have inside of you and the only way to stop the haters is to let that spark catch a flame, a passion, that spreads like a wild fire! 

Make a conscious effort to say that the cup is half full, and eventually you will be happy. Eventually, you will see the light again. Eventually, you will be free! 

That is my thought for the day! Hope you enjoyed.