There are so many reasons that I could innumerate as to why I have begun to see myself as broken, but the end result is the same. I am.
With all of the bullshit, pain, beauty, lust, love, loss, etc....I am always the same.
I am broken.
I honestly cannot love anyone or anything beyond my daughter.
Has my heart been broken beyond repair?
Has my head just given up on this hope, this prayer, this idiocy of a thought of a happy ever after?
There are opportunities I should jump on but at the same time I question if my motives are pure or are my feelings real?
I am lost in this spinning fear of cyclonic craziness and broken ambition.
The ones I cared about, have left me high and fry.
The ones I dreamed about, have been thoughtless and absent.
When I needed to be thoughtful, I've fallen and broken.
When they needed me, there was always a reason that kept me busy.
I am lost. I am alone. I am broken. I cannot love. I cannot breathe. I fear a future of simply a career with no love. But I cannot love so....
It is as though my heart has been numbed, my eyes have been hazed over, my body desensitized.
Have I been so beaten down that there is no hope for my future or love?
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