My nails GLOW!

Random title I know, but I really had no other thought to title this blog. Forewarning, this will probably jump from subject to subject because I just got out of class and have about a million different things going on in my brain. Which, is why I am writing. I have to let some of it out so that I can focus on my list of stuff that needs to get done. 

Beginning with my random title, yes, my nails glow right now. I usually try to get some kind of nail polish that does something cool around Halloween and literally in the 18 plus years of trying to find a nail polish that actually does what it is advertised to do has been a major let down. NOT THIS YEAR! I got this cheap $1 nail polish from target that claimed that it would glow in the dark and go on clear. I had no faith in it what so ever, but gave it a shot anyway. IT WORKS! My nails glow super bright and it is clear in daylight! It has also been very moisturizing to my nail bed and I havent had a broken nail or chipping since I put it on about two weeks ago. I have had to put a few more coats on, since it thins out after a few days of showering and doing dishes and what not but it works!! 

Class today was phenomenal! There is such a great feeling that comes over you when a professor or educator that you respect gives you a compliment in front of the rest of your class or student body about your motivation to succeed and never just sit there on your butt and do nothing. When my teacher did that, yes, I blushed but I was very flattered. I do make it a point to always help anyone in class that needs it or asks for it. I study with everyone, I coach everyone, and I constantly am trying to better my work and grade. Yeah, I have the highest grade in the class but that doesnt matter to me. I want the best grade possible and I want to be the one at graduation with a bunch of job offers and no fear that I wont be able to do my job not only well but exceptionally well. I also dont want to be that know it all that everyone secretly hates. I love being the student that everyone turns to with help or homework questions. Eventually, I think it would be cool to be an educator myself one day, since I am so good at it but not right now. I already have a few back up options and really want to get my current goals accomplished first. 

In other news, I received some paperwork today that I have been working on for a while and that will take care of some stuff that should have been taken care of a while ago. I am excited about it and upset about it at the same time. I dont want to hurt anyone but this is for the betterment of mine and my daughters future. Period. And if anyone has some crap to say about it, well then bring it. Seriously, what have you done to help? What would you do if the tables where turned? I can honestly say that I am in a very happy point in my life and this will just keep that momentum going. I dont regret my past because it has molded my present. I wouldnt give it up for that main fact. It doesnt mean that I have to live my life in the past anymore though. I can move on, I can become more, I can do more for my daughter, and I can see all that life has to provide. And, due to my past and the people in my past that have hurt me, that have taught me those really hard lessons, I am a stronger person for it. I was strong before but now I know where the bottom is, I know how to spot the lies that lead you there, and I know how to turn away from all of that. I know now that I have a choice, no matter what. I have a choice, I can make the hard choices, and I can stay to myself or anyone else, "You know what, we deserve better and Im going to do better. I dont need you. I dont need this. I will do better and I will succeed regardless of you. Regardless of any doubt!" 

It takes alot to say that, to believe it, and to live it. 

Most people will never understand that. 

Channeling my inner Xena

I dont know if its because I have nothing better to do or I am fixating on her inner strength (or simply because Halloween isb coming up and I am utterly obsessed with the holiday) but I am seriously stuck on a Netflix binge of Xena the warrior princess. I am going to dress up as her for Halloween and have already begun getting my costume together. 

I have also been trying and trying to find the parts and pieces for my daughters costume as well. She was suppose to be hit girl from Kick-Ass but the only premade costumes available suck! They are poorly put together and I am not spending that much money on a costume that looks like shit. I wish I had a sewing machine here and the right fabric cause it would already be made. However, I just had to move to El Paso, where it has not only been flooding nonstop (which is really odd for the desert) but they have no good fabric shops around here. (Yes, I miss Colorado and Florida badly right now for that main reason). 

I know I am already annoying quite a few people with my Halloween enthusiasm but I look at the whole thing this way, every single year EVERYONE jams how excited and festive they are for Christmas and Im just like, "Yeah, okay.....is it new years yet?" If everyone else can get so super pumped for Christmas then they can put up with how super pumped I am for Halloween, and my SERIOUS fix on Xena I have at the moment. 

Over the last two weeks I have watch almost 5 seasons of Xena. Yes, I will admit the first season was........just sad special effects wise and some episodes specifically from season three and four were just complete bullshit. Obviously people were on vacation or strike when those episodes came out but over all one of my favorite shows ever! 

Back to the issue at hand. So, I cannot find a good hit girl costume for my little diva, I cannot even find the material to just make it myself....here is what my back up plan is- She will instead go as Gabriel (Amazon princess) from the Xena series. There are some great roman and viking costumes I found online that could be tweeked slightly and she will look great, not to mention she will match me. We will be Xena and Gabriel and we will actually look like it LOL!!! I (as I posted at the top of this blog) have already began to train my hair to sit right for the costume and even cut my bangs! (FYI I havent had blunt bangs since I was a kid) and my little diva has the hair to match Gabriel. Halloween will be badass!! 

Besides all of that, I am now in Radiology and LOVE my class! I am kicking ass and taking names grade wise, and my professor is phenomenal! 

Work is also going well and besides me not knowing spanish, I am still doing fairly well for my limited amount of hours and lack of experience. I wont let it slow me though. =) 

Well, gotta get off of here and study before bed. 

You know what to do: COMMENT< FOLLOW<SHARE<ETC

Oh Radiology

Today, I started my second wheel of classes which means I am half way through getting this degree and that much closer to completing this goal and following through with this dream and wish for the future. 

Today began my term in Radiology and what was my whole first day about? What will be my whole first week basically be about? CHEMISTRY! 

Game, set, match! Got this A in the Bank ready for me! 

I have to say I am very happy that I am finally in Radiology, that I have the teacher that I have (cause he is pretty phenomenal), and that my spirit is finally feeling a sense of freedom, motivation, and happiness that it hasnt in quite some time. Releasing all the negativity that has been surrounding me, letting go of people who dont love me, and letting go of the past has done wonders for me. 

I will admit that I have literally felt like my body has been detoxing from all this bullshit stress and weight of the whole world over the past few years that has just kept accumulating on my shoulders, but has thankfully now faded from existence. I am not saying that everything is sunshine and rainbows now but Im beginning to get some clarity. 

I have already completed most of the homework that was assigned in the syllabus for this week and since I thankfully work almost every day this week, I have to stay ahead of it. 

I also turned in some very important papers that will be a whole other level to my freedom. That is all I will say about that. 

On another note, I just saw an article about a large group of teens that entered a mall in Memphis and "knocked out" a bunch of people for fun?? What is happening to this country?? What in the hell is happening to our youth???? It was maybe 7-8 years ago that I was still considered a teen and I wasnt running around knocking people out, in fact there was no fighting at my high school cause a guy got killed from a damn sucker punch the years previously. There is such a dramatic swing from all this shit about stop bullying and acceptance among everyone to all of this bullshit about teens "knocking people out" for fun. When was it ever considered fun to punch an 89 year old woman in the back of the head and cause her to fall fracturing her hip and pretty much ending her life? What if that was your grandmother, your mother, your aunt, your sister, your friend? When was it ever considered fun to hit people that were unsuspecting, unable to protect or defend themselves, and how in the hell did that become cool from a complete cowardous action?

Hitting people just to hit people is stupid. Hitting people who dont know they are about to get hit is called a sucker punch and only pussies and pansies do that. Real men and real women fight face to face, they know what going on, and they know the consequences of their actions. Which is usually jail. 

I will sacrifice a stay in jail though if this stupid, cowardly, bullshit "knock out" game ever comes near my daughter, my mother, or myself. People are getting very frustrated with it. I dont blame them. Some are even talking of taking these kids out if they come near them. Its legal in most places to either conceal or open carry. I support that fully. I will defend what is mine and my freedom which includes my right to not be sucker punched by a punk ass kid who thinks they are having fun. They arn't! They are destroying lives and hurting people that would have never hurt them. We have the right to defend ourselves not become terrorists to those around us in the name of a made up game. What is sad is that some of these kids are going to try and knockout the wrong person and they are going to lose their lives or they are going to end up really injured themselves. If parents were to take responsibility for their children and raise them instead of just letting them do whatever the hell they want to we wouldnt be dealing with this. I know that those who fought for and protested for our rights to express ourselves didnt have this in mind when they were holding sit ins and fighting the establishment. They preached about love and peace. They rallied for the betterment of mankind not the senseless acts of violence and injustice that is going on today. 

I dont believe that I am living in the right era at all. 

Let me Make this PERFECTLY Clear!

Let me also make this perfectly clear, if you dont talk to me, you havent talked to me in over a year, you havent asked to see my daughter, you havent asked how shes doing, you havent reached out, and you dont know shit about my day to day life then you have no right to pass judgment on me or how I live. I dont pass judgement on you or yours and apparently having a debate about a national issue is a good cause for you to try and blast me and what you think you know about me all over social media and then like a coward block me. I am not a perfect person, I am not a perfect mother but I know I am a damn good mother and would do anything for my daughter. No one is perfect and a christian like yourself should know that. 

What aggravates me more than most is when people who claim to be such open hearted people, with the morals, ethics, and character of a specific religion then turn around and do the exact thing that they preach and witness not to do to others.

Im not even going to try and banter around the bush anymore, here is what happened. My munchkins Aunt from her fathers side was commenting back and for with my brother on facebook about the issue of raising the minimum wage. Instead of discussing facts or reasonably debating as my brother was trying to do and several other people, she resorted to personal attacks and when I got off work and read them; I commented back. I answered the questions she was barading my brother with, and then stated some other facts. I thanked everyone for commenting and sharing their opinions but because it was becoming to heated (specifically on her end) I stated that I was going to delete any and all comments after mine that were negative. I was trying to end the discussion because she obviously wasnt going to take the link my brother provided or the facts also stated, instead she was going to as his family usually does, fight tooth and nail for what she thought was right even though she was clearly proven wrong. 

What was her response to this?

To try an humiliate me on my own page with false information and try to tear me down. She tried to claim that I have kept my munchkin from his family cause I have moved to a different state, that I am unstable, that I cant keep a job, and that I cant follow through with my education. 

I was shocked! I thought her and I had an alright relationship. At least we use to. 

I have NOT kept my munchkin from his family, however, it is not my responsibility to try and force communication with people that wont return emails, calls, text, or any other kind of communication. I have also moved to better myself and my daughter but even with the moves, she has always had a roof over her head, clean clothes, clean body, food in her tummy, and a top notch education. I can keep a job. I can also choose to get a different job because to me, my life will not be defined by my career title. It will be defined by the moments spent with loved ones, the memories, the laughs, the tears, and the opportunities I took instead of watching them pass by. A job is a job. A career can be put to an end very quickly without your consent and when that happened to me I changed my priorities and made sure I always had a back up plan. Which brings me to my education. I am working on technically my fourth degree. I have certifications in medical, loss prevention, child care, animal care, and have many, many skills that are multi-functioning. I can work in the criminology field, I can work in cosmetology, I can be a business leader, a marketing and advertising heavy hitter, I can run night clubs, lead, train, and rock security, write news articles and editorials, photograph precious moments or sports events, and I can speak in front of crowds like I am speaking to a dear friend. I have no fear where most do. I am passionate and outgoing. If I didnt follow through with my education I wouldnt be able to be getting this degree right now and broadening my opportunities even more in the field of dentistry. I wouldnt be able to make these plans to save my mom or rock a 4.0 in order to work with an oral surgeon one day to save my mom. I would be sitting on my ass like her nephew, living off of others, and neglecting my responsibilities. I would be doing whatever the hell I wanted to, never keeping a paycheck, and be fine with that. 

But, I am NOT! I am doing what I have to and I am doing what I need to, to be a good mother and a good provider for my tiny family. 

My words on here may get side tracked in talking about matters of my heart and those who break it but the truth is no one could ever break my heart cause they dont have it. They will never have all of it. It belongs to the little girl fighting her sleep in that little bed over there and she is the reason to my why, always and forever. Dont ever get it twisted!  Those who I have talked about, that have let me down, made me sad, and shook my faith in humanity only did to a certain point. I am still here. I am not crying every moment of the day. I am not slowing my speed to my goals. I have not given up hope. I am not a wreck. Im not unstable or shaken. 

Some ask why I care what was said or why it matters to me.

Well, it matters because even with everything I stated I am that passionate and caring person that does care. I make relationships with people and I am loyal to a fault. That fault is usually when they do some stupid shit like this and claim to think they know me or know my life. I will, as most of us Aries do, protect, defend, and honor those we care about out of natural instinct. I will also trust that those who are a part of my family no matter how extended or by a sham of a wedding be connected will have some respect in the fact I am family as I have respect for them and their family. 

I maybe an outspoken bitch at times but I am also a person of class, respect, and humility. I have compassion for others. I over look flaws and see the best in those that I should, as the rest of the world does, see only the bad. I give chances when none should be given, and I hope while others give up. 

And now that I have gotten that rant out, I feel SO much better! 

Today was my first whole day off this week and I LOVE IT! I spent most of the day catching up on paperwork I needed to actually finish a few days ago and get ready for my radiology class that starts tomorrow, and I watched Sunday morning cartoons with my little diva this morning. She was great all day but now that she is fighting her sleep, lol, she doesnt want to listen. She does this thing where she sings or talks to keep herself awake. Usually, it is amusing and always imaginative but she needs to go to sleep!! We have to be up super early and I know she is going to fight me in the morning, take forever in the shower, and do any and everything in order to make us late. LOL it makes me laugh though. Hearing myself and my mom voice. Hearing some of her excuses for stuff and her rationalization for doing certain things. I really have to fight my own facial muscles from laughing or smiling at it right in front of her. For example, for the last 45 minutes I have been sitting here writing and trying to get her to sleep and she has been carrying on a story about her bear and pony and how her bear is searching for its family and the pony keeps coming up with different shenanagens and getting the bear off track. SERIOUSLY! She is going to be a writer or actress or director or something amazing. She may turn out like her teacher said week before last, a doctor or nurse or something for people with special needs cause she is so imaginative and caring. 

Well, good night or good morning depending on where you are and when you are reading this. And thank you for reading!!! Leave a comment below, share your story, follow me on here, and/or add me on google plus or facebook (links provided on page).