Random title I know, but I really had no other thought to title this blog. Forewarning, this will probably jump from subject to subject because I just got out of class and have about a million different things going on in my brain. Which, is why I am writing. I have to let some of it out so that I can focus on my list of stuff that needs to get done.
Beginning with my random title, yes, my nails glow right now. I usually try to get some kind of nail polish that does something cool around Halloween and literally in the 18 plus years of trying to find a nail polish that actually does what it is advertised to do has been a major let down. NOT THIS YEAR! I got this cheap $1 nail polish from target that claimed that it would glow in the dark and go on clear. I had no faith in it what so ever, but gave it a shot anyway. IT WORKS! My nails glow super bright and it is clear in daylight! It has also been very moisturizing to my nail bed and I havent had a broken nail or chipping since I put it on about two weeks ago. I have had to put a few more coats on, since it thins out after a few days of showering and doing dishes and what not but it works!!
Class today was phenomenal! There is such a great feeling that comes over you when a professor or educator that you respect gives you a compliment in front of the rest of your class or student body about your motivation to succeed and never just sit there on your butt and do nothing. When my teacher did that, yes, I blushed but I was very flattered. I do make it a point to always help anyone in class that needs it or asks for it. I study with everyone, I coach everyone, and I constantly am trying to better my work and grade. Yeah, I have the highest grade in the class but that doesnt matter to me. I want the best grade possible and I want to be the one at graduation with a bunch of job offers and no fear that I wont be able to do my job not only well but exceptionally well. I also dont want to be that know it all that everyone secretly hates. I love being the student that everyone turns to with help or homework questions. Eventually, I think it would be cool to be an educator myself one day, since I am so good at it but not right now. I already have a few back up options and really want to get my current goals accomplished first.
In other news, I received some paperwork today that I have been working on for a while and that will take care of some stuff that should have been taken care of a while ago. I am excited about it and upset about it at the same time. I dont want to hurt anyone but this is for the betterment of mine and my daughters future. Period. And if anyone has some crap to say about it, well then bring it. Seriously, what have you done to help? What would you do if the tables where turned? I can honestly say that I am in a very happy point in my life and this will just keep that momentum going. I dont regret my past because it has molded my present. I wouldnt give it up for that main fact. It doesnt mean that I have to live my life in the past anymore though. I can move on, I can become more, I can do more for my daughter, and I can see all that life has to provide. And, due to my past and the people in my past that have hurt me, that have taught me those really hard lessons, I am a stronger person for it. I was strong before but now I know where the bottom is, I know how to spot the lies that lead you there, and I know how to turn away from all of that. I know now that I have a choice, no matter what. I have a choice, I can make the hard choices, and I can stay to myself or anyone else, "You know what, we deserve better and Im going to do better. I dont need you. I dont need this. I will do better and I will succeed regardless of you. Regardless of any doubt!"
It takes alot to say that, to believe it, and to live it.
Most people will never understand that.
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