To love or not to love that is the bullshit

I have to admit that I have a small addiction to watching this show called to catch a cheater. Its all about people going on National television, hiring this specific crew of private detectives to catch their spouse or significant other cheating and then exposing them while they are in a public area. 

It just fascinates me that people can be so stupid and yet I know at one point I was that stupid. No I have never cheated on someone I was with but I have been the other woman and I am not proud at all of that fact but I am also not going to act like it didnt happen. It was a huge stepping stone in my life and a coarse changer. Because of everything that happened I was forced to really take a look in the mirror and begin my journey of self discovery, acceptance, and I had to seriously grow up but that doesnt happen for everyone and I wasnt even the cheater in the situation and it made my blood crawl. 

I dont know how people can do it. 

If I am with someone I am with that person, however if I begin to feel like we are drifting I try to talk to that person and figure out why that is, and eventually if I begin to really look at other people or even think about cheating I have to end it or have an immediate meeting of the minds kinda deal. I am not a cheater and cannot cheat. It just isnt in me. I know how it feels to be cheated on and I cannot deal with that kind of guilt. 

This show however is all about how people suspect cheating and instead of confronting their partners they get a team of investigators to do it and then want to freak out cause everything that they already suspected was true. If it honestly got to that point already you didnt need detectives, you needed to take a look in the mirror, try a bit harder, or move the fuck on. 

To love or not to love that is the bullshit. You cannot choose who you love or why you love them but you should at least be able to express why you love them and be adult enough to talk about your sexual needs, desires, and whatever is lacking in the relationship. Instead of hiring detectives and going on tv for the whole world to see how much of a fuck up both of you are, you could have just dealt with it yourselves. The person who did the cheating is a fuck up because cheating is cheating and the person that hired the detectives is a fuck up because 9 out of 10 of them always say "I knew this was going on, I knew this was happening, I knew he/she was creeping, I knew I couldnt trust him/her!!" Well if you already knew then why the fuck did you need detectives?

In some retrospect I dont believe that people can be truly faithful to one another anymore. Whether it be physically, emotionally, or spiritually, I have yet to meet one person that is truly monogamous. I have never physically cheated but I know that I have friends that sooth my heart when I am down and isnt that emotionally cheating? If you cannot turn to your partner who is suppose to be your best friend and eventually you just go to that other person and pour your heart out...

I know I started rambling....

Anyway, my point is if you are honest with yourself and with what you want out of life, love, and your sexuality, then you will know whether or not this or that person is right for you. You will know if that person is feeding you a crock of shit or whether you can trust them. Dont go and hire a damn news crew of detectives to stawlk them because you got tired of doing it, just be honest. 

I have been very honest with myself and I think I am finally beginning to feel true happiness.