We got that glow

I hate to admit that maybe things are about to start getting better because that is exactly when they dont. However, today I am happy and that is something to be even happier about. I have a "glow" apparently and I am working my ass off to try and get a different job and apply to these scholarships so that it isnt quite as difficult on me while I am in school. I know how harmful stress can be on the body and I am so scared of getting high blood pressure and problems because I cant ever be unstressed. I couldnt sleep again last night and ended up working out till almost two am. I feel amazing today but last night it was just like come on, wined down already. I did my 100 workout, really worked on my arms because they are starting to look like bingo wings to me. I have been told I am an idiot for thinking that but I know how my body feels when it is in shape and when it isnt. Right now I am not in shape and I hate that. I want to be able to wear a pair of shorts without being self conscious of my legs. I use to love my legs, but these last few months have taken a huge tole on me. I am finally getting back to where I can cook my food again and I dont have to rely on fast food or premade shit. I love homecooking. I control what goes in, and how fattening it is. I control the veggies and the lack of processed shit. I feel so much better when I can make from scratch. 

By the way if you cant tell, I am literally just writing everything that is coming to my mind. I am getting finished up applying for some scholarships and feel as though I need to just kind of mind dump everything. Or at least, everything that is on my mind right now. 

For example, when I was a kid, I remember all these talk shows and everything that would actively seek out people who needed their lives changed for the better. Like Oprah and Maury and Montell Williams. They would bring people on that needed something, like oh your a single mom going back to college, here is 10,000 dollars to make shit easier on you so you can complete your goal. Oh, your  mom hasnt had a makeover in how many years because she works all the damn time and has a rare medical condition so technically she shouldnt even be working, he is 5000 dollars worth of new clothes and a makeover with cosmetic surgery on her smile to make her feel rejuvenated! Yeah, that shit doesnt happen anymore. Now, people search out just the bad to televise and publicize. I remember writing a million and a half letters begging for some talk show to help my mom. Not a single one ever even wrote back. I know they received millions of letter probly, but that is what personal assistance is for. I am just talking out of my ass right now, I know. Ok I am done for now, back to work!!!