My first week of clinical went very very well ^-^ I am so very proud of myself and more determined than ever! It started out with the immediate listing of being the "office" head/lead (which is basically the teachers assistant but still awesome)! Personally, I do not care in the least if anyone wants to call me a suck up or teachers pet or anything. I know I'm not. I just do what is asked of me, I don't bitch, and I am reliable. Which is something barely anyone else can claim. We already had 2 exams and I passed the first one and then rocked the 2nd one. I would have rocked the first one too but it was timed and I didn't get to answer the last 4 questions. My next exam on Tuesday will go much better because I know it's timed now and I know I am going to walk away with a perfect A. My studying like crazy will not be for nothing damn it! Lol!
I am in such a good mood because I know the stars the the limit. I still have all the stresses as before but I know I can do it. I have let go of everything that has been weighing me down in the past. Literally. I am so proud of myself for doing so. You would never guess who messaged me the past few days (saying sorry and he missed me and he still lives me...) yup you guessed it...my ex love of my life/high school sweet heart. I will always love him because he is my first love and he did have my heart for the longest time but I can honestly say that I Dont feel bound to him anymore. I don't feel like I have to jump when he realizes he still wants me. I can't just forget all of the extremely hurtful things he's said and done and how he didn't back me up or defend me in the least when everything blew up. Not to mention how hateful he was toward me knowing I had been so forgiving and accepting of him for so long. It didn't matter and a heart never breaks evenly. There is always an unfair aspect of it and a selfish reason behind everything. I for one, am thoroughly done with it.
I see all these other options available to me. I see how I am so much more wanted than how I was treated before by anyone. I know the power that rested with in me for so long and is now awakened. I know I deserve more, am worth more, and will have better. I will never be a second option or fall back again. I don't have to be. I don't have to settle for 2nd best or a love that was unfaithful, hypocritical, and judgemental. I will never be controlled or told how I should be in a relationship.
I am also not stopping with this degree. I have found a true love of dentistry, specifically oral surgery. I want to become an oral surgeon and that is going to be another few years of college and specialized training but it's well worth it. I want that doctorate and I will get it. Wish me luck!! That of course comes after I get my mom her surgery and some more experience under my belt which is fine by me because that then gives me a chance to save up the money to pay for the degrees.
As always thankyou for reading and please feel free to comment below or shoot me a direct message as a few of you have ^-^ I love interacting directly with my lovely readers. Feel free to follow my blog or my instagram @ms.elkins_yall
And Have a WONDERFUL DAY/NIGHT where ever in the world you maybe :-)
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