Breastfeeding in public

Ive been reading alot lately about the different views of breastfeeding in public. 

Here is my view on it. 

Breastfeeding is a total natural thing. I breastfed my daughter and sometimes there isnt an option to hide, to go to that tiny little corner of a store, or go sit in a car thats probably really hot and muggy or seriously cold. A screaming newborn trumpts modesty or bullshit public views. Most of the people that hate or find public breastfeeding inappropriate arnt parents and havent had to deal with any of it. Your child matters more than what anyone out there thinks or views. If this was the apocalypse no one would be talking about how breastfeeding is icky in public. 

Woman have been breastfeeding since literally the beginning of time. To me its just a better wiser choice to formula that seems to get recalled...a whole lot. 

Alyssa was on formula for a grand total of three months and I hated every moment of it. She was gassy and fussy, which she never was as an infant. I breastfed when ever I needed to, at any time, whenever necessary, and I always tried to have a cover because I was seriously modest and have always been. But, when it was really hot that cover just made her uncomfortable. Really uncomfortable. So, modesty vs uncomfortable baby? Modesty fly's right on out the window. 

If you have a problem with breastfeeding in public then you have a problem with humanity. Just deal with it. chances are you were breastfed and guess what, your mother gave up her modesty for your comfort. 

One of the articles I read quoted a tweed from Kim Kardashian. She tweeted that is was nasty that a woman was breastfeeding her child at a restaurant. This coming from a woman that gained her fame from a sex tape and then exploitation of her family, her name, and lieing. Yeah, her morals are in the right level. Screw her. Seriously! How is  breastfeeding in public so gross but sleeping with a dude on camera to gain fame okay? 

I am a proud breastfeeding mother. I have proudly breastfed in public when I needed to. I dont regret any of it. She was worth way the hell more than my modesty. She will always be worth way the hell more than my modesty.

Cleaning...Its not just meant for women

Listen up men! Cleaning is not just a woman's duty!! You are grown adults!! Clean up after your damn selves!! And, lady's if you arnt cleaning cause you are a lazy ass then wtf!! You should know by now too!! 

I am so fucking tired of cleaning up after grown adults! Today I came home and like always the house was a total fucking mess, the dishes were piled sky high, the fridge is empty, and neither one of the adult people whom also live here can lift a damn finger. Its ridiculous! 

So, I get home and clean the kitchen. I then did the dishes, cooked dinner, let the dogs out, cleaned the livingroom, fed and bathed my munchkin, just got her to sleep, and am about to feed the dogs. I still need to clean my room, the bathroom, and then my truck, and rake up the yard and guess what I dont have this weekend off! So, needless to say I am going to be seriously tired by the end of this next week. 

And on top of all of that, I have mock state board exams on Wednesday. Fucking, awesome. 

I am so tired of lazy people. Fake friends. Two faced friends. People that love you but cant actually show you they love you, no they show others. They tell others how much they love you. They show other how much they love others. They actually have passion with others but you are the one person that no matter what the love and adore, they just cant show you or be your knight in shining armor. No you have to do it all on your own, all alone, and all responsibility and burden lays on your shoulders. You cant talk to anyone about it because no one cares. No one wants to hear the same story over and over again and no one is there for you to really understand. Im tired of the bullshit. And, I am pretty sure that everyone is tired of me. 

Sorry...just overwhelmed, aggravated, and ready for bed. 

Better Home...ugh

I was than ready to get on here and rant and rant about how pissed off I am at this damn house and the people in it and coming home actually changed my attitude for the worst because as usual nothing was fucking done, nothing was clean, nothing was cooked for dinner, and all it was, was a bunch of excuses as to why this or that wasnt done. The dishes arnt done because the ones in the dishwasher werent clean enough so they were run again, but the dish washer was barely started by the time I got home? I am gone every single day for 8 hours working, going to school, trying to better mine and my daughters life and I have to come home to this? What have they done in the 8 hours she and I have been gone? Sleeping? Its bullshit! 

But I am not going to go entirely down that road. I would say things that come purely from anger. And, that is not a good place. Not a good place at all. 

I am angry about always coming home to more bullshit. I am angry about coming to this place every day and having to call it home. I am angry that I have to put up with people that annoy the crap out of me and are really horrible manipulative people at heart. 

But...

Then I am smacked in the face with what I should be thankful for. I start to realize and see the blessings in my life and all of those things that I absolutely hate just drift away. 

My munchkin just smiles and everything drifts away. She was dancing, singing, and clapping along with Barney and it just melted my heart. At moments like that nothing else matters. 

So bored at school and realizing how alone I have made myself...sucks

Supernatural and Stuff

I am hooked. Seriously hooked on supernatural and curse Netflix and its availability. I've watched every episode up to season  six and am working on that right now.

For those of you who dont know, Supernatural is a show that is about two brothers who deal with the supernatural. They 'hunt' vamps, werewolves, skin walkers, weird shit I have never even heard of, and a whole lot more. Not to mention they were suppose to be the vessels for Lucifer and the arch angel Micheal for the apocalypse, which they started but also finished. I cant get enough! Its like a history lesson/religious study/ entertainment/reality show all wrapped into one. Its crazy! 

Sam is the younger brother and he was infected with demon blood when her was younger so although he has alot of good in him, he also carries around this evil side of him. He is the more lovable one, the more normal one, the kinder one, but he is also the more fucked up one. 

Dean is the older one and has been hunting since he could walk. He has the rocker attitude that kicks some major ass. He is rough around the edges and was the suppose to be the vessel for the arch angel Micheal. He turned it down cause he refused to kill his brother or be used as a pawn like that. 

Together they kick some major ass, they have some major issues to work through, and they get into some major problems together. Sometimes they make it out okay and other times they just get thicker into it. Which is why I love this show. You never know what is actually going to happen and the second that you think you know what happened, your mind is blown! 

I wont ruin it all for you. You have to go watch it for yourself but I felt I had to share the love of this amazing show!! 

Other stuff, I think I broke my toe. This morning I was so aggravated cause I couldnt find anything that I needed and that I kicked the darn coffee table; to which I think I broke my toe. It really sucked!! I ended up being late to class again because I had to come back to the house and grab my apron after I dropped my munchkin off and so I am stuck here till noon when I can clock in..which fucks my attendance up even more. I am not where I want to be  attendance wise, it should be at least at a 90 but its at an 82 and if I miss anything Im screwed! 

I am looking forward to my little mini vacation to Florida here in a few weeks but Im stressed about everything else. Bills, Money, Family, Bullshit. Its all wearing at me and I feel like Im starting to drowned again. Well, I guess Ill get off of here and clean this bullshit house up before I go to school. I swear this seriously pisses me off. I clean and clean and clean and its like I am never done. Everyone else around here can piss and moan about it but never do anything to fix it/clean it. I cannot wait to get the hell out of here which is why I need to buckle down in school and get this crap done! 

I cannot stand how messy it is here. How content they are with it being messy and disgusting. How they complain about everything and do absolutely nothing! How they have their own personal soap opera going on within this fucked up family and how they are so content with their bullshit its astounding! Okay Im seriously getting off of here before I say to much. 

Jersey shore

How I know I would never be accepted on Jersey Shore:

1. I dont like to fake bake, and prefer actual sunlight.

2. Im not a DTF girl and dont think I ever will be. Just not my style.

3. I love the outdoors and dont mind camping =)

4. I dont pee in public, especially not at clubs or in bushes (unless ya know when Im actually camping)

5. Im not a jersey girl, Im a FLORIDA WOMAN! 

I dont have anything against them and can see the allure of them and the show but its just not for me. I have never been good at branding myself as anything, punk, redneck, ghetto, preppy, grundge, emo, jock,  etc. In alot of ways I fit into almost every category and I dont fit into any of them. I think thats why I have always had problems friend wise. There are very few people out there that are seriously like myself and do not fit into the stereotype of the week. Some times I feel like I ostracize myself from the people around me because I just cannot get into what they are talking about or what they are into and then when I am interested I feel like I am being over bearing or something so I withdrawl even more. It s very self destructive and when I was younger it really fucked my head up. 

I wish it was as easy as they have it on the shore, they just party and live and everything is a show. They have each others backs and they fuck with each other but at the end of the day they have each others backs again. They can go to the club and shake their ass and not care. They are promiscous and are fine with it and their families still support them. Its alot of freedom but its also a huge burden to bear. I couldnt do it.

I love going to the club and having a good time with my friends but I also feel out of place on my own. I cant sometimes go meet people but when they start to grind on me or try to get me to do something that is beyond my moral compass I shut down. I get scared. 

Im just weird. Or am I normal?

Bed now...

16 and Pregnant

Lets talk about the newest season of 16 and pregnant. I am not a huge fan of a bunch of reality tv shows but I have been fascinated with this series since it began. However, this episode I am watching right now is seriously pissing me off. 

This chick is seriously pissing me off. Her and her boyfriend are only 15 and they are total idiots! They arent prepared at all and they are being totally unrealistic! Dont even get me started on the dude. I feel for him because his dad was never a part of his life, so he really wants to be a part of the childs life but at the same time he absolutely no plans to help the child. He was so against adoption but at the same time had no real explanation on how he was going to help the child. 

To make matters worse Kiana (however you spell her name) has preacclampsia and is being induced early. They have nothing for the baby! Nothing! Why someone would wait till 36 weeks to get anything for a baby is a shock to me. Even if you were iffy about adoption, you would still get the bare essentials for if something fell through or you changed your mind. To me thats just the logical way to deal with things. 

Personally, I went out and bought stuff for my little munchkin the day after I found out I was pregnant.

I honestly dont know if I can watch the rest of this. In other countries thats like a normal age to have babies and start families but they are prepared, they are raised differently, and have a bit more common sense. We are kinda behind....And ahead in alot of ways. IDK thought I would share.






UPDATE!!!
Okay so they are playing the where are they now episode and apparently the dude I was just writing about is in prison! And get this, hes suppose to be out by the time that Kiana is 33!! And she wants to be with him!!! WHAT!!!!???!!!! Why would you allow that around your child? Seriously? I can understand that but I also cant. I would never have my daughter around that or put myself through that pain and being so alone. I guess I am just a different person...maybe if what they did wasnt that bad but hello it has to be that bad for them to end up in prison. Wow, just wow.....

Best birthday EVER!

I have had 22 years of birthdays and literally, Friday was the best ever! I have never had that much fun, felt that loved, or anything. Every year its like I punish myself and for some reason I never end up having a great day. My day becomes about someone else, some responsibility, some bullshit....It always ends with a broken heart. Friday was the exact opposite! School was fantastic! 

First my mom called me up on my way to school and made me go cash a comcheck, to which she had 22 Happy Birthday scratch off tickets waiting for me. Of which I won the 22 dollars back, not bad. Was looking forward to the 1,000 dollars that was possible but the 22 dollars went right into my gas tank. =) Thanks mom!!!

Then-

My friend Alli surprised me with an awesome painting she did for me, pic below =)

Totally epic! I love it! I have never had a friend care enough to actually paint me something so beautiful and heart felt. We are sister cosmetologists. Its wonderful.

Then we spent the rest of the day (our free day Friday) doing each others hair, makeup, nails, and just bs. It was great. 

Right after lunch I received these-

From my sister! It was great! I wasnt expecting it at all! 

Third present of the day, amped me back up, and was a wonderful surprise! I normally hate being surprised. Seriously, I hate surprises. I want to know what I am in for but some, I guess, are necessary. =)

After that-

I picked my munchkin up from school and we picked up my free birthday smoothie from Tropical Smoothie. I was again surprised that they had a non dairy option which meant I would be able to enjoy my smoothie without my side killing me or throwing it back up. Wonderful birthday present and Alyssa loved hers! We ordered the smoothies to go but she was in love with the Bob Marley song playing so we sat/danced there for a few minutes. I am truly blessed to have her. Her smile lights up my world, her giggle is the sweetest sound to my ears, and when I see that she is seriously happy; it makes me seriously happy. 

And to round out my evening, my favorite band was playing at Juanita's Bar. 

I was so excited! I absolutely love them! They are called Aranda and they dont play strickly rock. They have a bit of a punk, blues, funk feel to their music and they are so passionate about their music. They relate to their fans and they are so down to earth even with all their fame and all their future fame. Their talent is right up there with Jimmy Hendrix and Springstein. I have been to four shows of theirs and am now the proud owner of both of their cd's. I have three signed t-shirts, two signed drumsticks, about a thousand pictures, and a million wonderful memories. Including, the most recent, most amazing memory! Dameon Aranda gave me a signed cd as my birthday present and then gave me TWO HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHOUT OUTS!! From the stage!!! To which, he dedicated the last song to me!! Best ever! 

If you have never heard of them you seriously need to check them out! Their music can touch your soul and move your body. 

I will post a link in a bit. We are about to go to the zoo!! Alyssa is just breaking my heart with how much she wants to see the animals!! 

momma bear on overload

Let me explain something that most momma bears get and just some people dont. I am in no way ashamed of the fact that I am an overprotective mother! I will never appologize for it. My daughter will grow up better for it and when she is an adult hopefully she will thank me for it. My daughter is my world so I will not allow any one not matter who the hell they are to ruin my world with their fucked up behaviors. Not going to happen and no I do not have to understand your view. She is my daughter and maybe if you raised your child a bit better we wouldnt be having this conversation. I am a pissed off, over protective, bad ass momma bear and I will NEVER apologize for it! 

My mother in law seriously has me twisted. 

The other night that I said I wouldnt write about in my last post, well I am still not going to write about it thoroughly but I am going to write about this stuff sturring in my brain and this conversation I just had. 

She wanted to know why I was still mad at her, why I couldnt just move past her seriously bad outburst, and why I couldnt understand her 'disease'. 

She is bipolar but she is on a shit ton of medication. I mean ALOT! She has been leveled out for so long and she is trying to blame what happened on that. I dont believe it. I do understand a bipolar person, at least as much as someone could understand but I dont accept it as an excuse to what happened. She shouldnt have behaved like that, she shouldnt have spoken like that, and she should not have done any of that infront of my child! When I said that she needed to stop because Alyssa was in the room she should have stopped. Cody shouldnt have had to retrain her and take numerous kicks to the 'male area' from his own mother because she was mad about some other bs. She should have addressed whatever issue she had as an adult and in a more respectable mannor. When she pissed me off and I was yelling back at her I stopped the second that my daughter walked into the room. I picked my little munchkin up and removed both of us from the situation. She is not going to be damaged or tramatized because this woman is a nut case. Come hell or high water I will always protect my daughter and she will always come first. 

Another reason why I am so livid is because she tried to take one sentence my mother said and spin it to make Cody and I fight. To make me the bad guy. She wanted to start more drama over something that wasnt drama filled at all. In fact, it was a rather simple, normal american situation. My mother is celebrating her 50th birthday this year and so she wants her children with her down in Florida to celebrate. Not a big deal. One week off of school and then back to school I go. She tried to make it like I was just running away without telling anyone. UGH!!! I really  cannot stand stupid people. We just had it out again and she tried to cry and act like I was hurting her feeling so much by being angry with her. Oh, well. Get over it. I am a pissed off momma bear and I am going to stay pissed off because you have no control over yourself (apparently) and have no regard for the mental well being of anyone but yourself. 

Im stressed to the very top of my momma bear ears and cannot wait for my little mini vacation to Florida to chill out. I need it, and Alyssa is going to LOVE IT!! 

Run anyone?

Today is one of those days, like most days here in bum fuck Arkansas that is beautiful but evil! 

Not only did I get to school late this morning because people in this state have no idea how to drive but I was sent home! For what you ask? Well, for mouthing back to my educator because I simply needed some help with the darn front desk! She wanted to get an attitude with me so I got one back with her. It is literally as simple as that. 

So, in spite of that bullshit! I am determined to have a good day! Be productive! 

I just finished a bunch of dishes that no one besides me in this house are apparently capable of doing. 

Which really makes me want to get into all of the bullshit that went down yesterday but I am just going to let it go. I am going to turn the other cheek and be the better person. I will say this though, my mother in law is a fucking nut case and I really really really see where her son gets it from and I feel sorry for his childhood and teen years. I am also very thankful for the mother I did have and the step father I did have because regardless of anything else that happened, I can honestly say I am not that fucked up! 

I cannot wait to get the fuck out of this place, I cannot wait to graduate, and I cannot wait for my little mini vacation in Florida here in a few weeks! A little taste of why I am putting up with all of this right now and sticking to my guns to finish school! 

Well I am off to go run and get some of this pent up energy out or I might just flip out on someone just like some crazy ass people do and honestly I do not want to be placed in the same category. 

Bad Girls? Whiny b's is more like it

Some days I just want to scream at the top of my damn lungs! Everything has just set me off today, its like my stress level went from zero to fifty in three seconds. 

Alyssa and I woke up late this morning, like literally an hour late so she stayed home with me from school today. I dont mind, it is my day off too and although I really wanted to go job hunting I have to be realistic about some shit. I dont have alot of gas in the truck, barely any money coming in, and its just everything is beginning to crash down on my shoulders again. 

I guess I am just in one of those moods today. I even snapped at my mom because she was questioning why I didnt bring Alyssa to school late today. Personally, I think its embarrassing. I dont like to be late. A few minutes late is one thing but a whole hour is a totally different situation. 

Maybe I am in a bad mood because I am watching the Bad Girls club. Normally I like this show but not today. All I see are whiney bitches. They complain about shit that they should be thankful for and I seriously cannot stand a few of their voices. It really pisses me off that these girls, yes girls, are given such an opportunity and they just waste it on bullshit. Where do they get their money from? We are praising these girls for behaving badly because its good tv. Honestly, at this very moment, I cannot stand it. I struggle every single day. I am trying to better my life and I dont see anyone praising me for that. The good isnt praised. Its horrible. 

And lets talk about air sex...wow! I didnt know...just wow. Apparently the Ambers, have their own show now and they had and they had some dude come on and demonstrate what air sex was. EWWWWWWW! He was just humping the air...

Enough about that cause it weirds me out. Anyway, Im going to go find something productive to do today to get me out of this funk. School tomorrow...maybe that will help but I doubt it. I love school! I love what I am learning but I cannot stand bitches. I have never done anything to be talked about. Last week I was confronted with some major bullshit and this week I really hope Im not the flavor. I hope that someone else does something worth all the bullshit talk and two faced mouths. I just keep reminding myself that I am doing this for my life, my dreams, and my future and they will weed themselves out of jobs and their future because they will make the wrong enemies .Eventually I will be the one on top and they will be the ones wishing they didnt start shit with me. 

Narnia and such

I want to begin by saying that if Narnia was a real place, I would never leave it. Its far too beautiful and hello! Talking animals!! 

Maybe Im just a weirdo but I would also freaking love it if Hogwarts and Harry Potter was real. Twilight not so much...

Whenever I watch a movie that I seriously love, I cannot help but to imagine what it would be like if it was real. Not really my fault either, I grew up on Disney movies that always promise a happy ending, Romance, and the idea that one day life wont suck as badly as it does. 

I even imagine that maybe some movies were based on reality and the government doesnt care that people see it because we would all just believe that it was fiction anyway. 

Yesterday was great. I took my munchkin to the park after a blah/grr kinda morning and we had a blast. She amazes me every single day with how much she has grown and how smart she is getting. If I were in better circumstances I would be trying my hardest to give her a little brother or sister. She would make a great big sister cause she is so social and just loves to play with other kids. She wants to be the center of attention or just join in the fun.

I love that she is a happy baby. Sorry, toddler. I never was. It was like there was something wrong with me. I was always questioning the world around me to the point I never had any fun. I just didnt fit it. When I was in elementary school they tested my IQ level and apparently its like Einstein level but Im dyslexic so it hold me back. I can think on great level and imagine things beyond belief but I cant put them on paper or explain them correctly. I have a speech impediment that no ones knows about because I have worked and worked on myself to the point that no one knows or can tell. Until I am drunk or seriously pissed off. My studder, my dyslexic moments dont show themselves but it messed with my childhood and I pray every single day that Alyssa will have a better childhood than that. That she is happy, well adjusted, and can enjoy life like I am just now getting to. 

Different note, I had this awesome job offer that I was excited about but when I started weighing the pros and cons I was left with a really hard choice but one that had to be made. If I were to take the job I would have had to quit school or switch to part time and no matter what shift I took I would never get to see my little munchkin. We would always miss each other and although the money would have been good, it would have come at the cost of her. She always wins when it comes to that. My mom actually told me to quit school to take the job which broke my heart. It was like she thought that what I was going to school for wasnt on the same level. I love what Im going to school for and I should have done this a long time ago. 

I know I am jumping around alot and I appologize, my mind is very a.d.d at the moment. I am whirling from this horrible day and trying to figure out my options and what to do tomorrow. Maybe I should write later when I know exactly what I want to write about. 

Dooms Day preppers

Lets talk about doomsday preppers, like the show on the history channel. WOW!

I am way behind the curve on this. Apparently if zombies where to take over the country, China were to call in our debt, or the polar ice caps flipped; then I would be screwed. 

I could see why some people would look at these people as total nut cases but it would also be very niave to just assume that nothing would ever happen like that. Preppers are smart and crazy and in a horrible situation I would want to be near a prepper than be one of the ones telling them they are nuts. 

Okay some of them are totally freaking nuts. There is no questioning that but there is some truth to their insanity. 

Let me explain what a doomsday prepper is. They are people who have prepped their homes, shelters, families, and friends for huge catastrophic events such as armagedon, zombies, or a total economic break down. They have food stocked up, shelters built, weapon stock piles, and plenty of meds to protect against a variety of viral attacks. 

Good idea but some people go nuts with it. In truth I do need to be at least a bit more prepared for some kind of catastrophic event that will most likely happen. 

Although, I read something today that makes me breathe much easier about this year. There have been about 514 leap years since Caesar created it back in 45b.c. Without the extra day every four years, todays date would actually be July 28, 2013.

Also, the mayan calender did not account for leap year....so technically the world should haven ended 7 months ago. 

Was your mind blown? Mine was when I read that. 

To think about a doomsday event happening it kind of makes every other problem seem tiny. Its overwhelming and liberating. Why worry about the little stuff when you have a doomsday to prepare for? I can understand that logic but I can also blow holes in it. 

If I dooms day was to happen then shouldnt we take advantage of the beautiful and amazing things we have now? Shouldnt we spend more time with our family and less time stressing over something that might happen? And, if we really want to get technical; there was a asteroid discovered not to long ago that will apparently collide with the earth in 2040. Its such a big deal that they are already or have already began planning a way to deflect it. What really blows my mind about this is that I didnt hear or read about it on any news site I saw it on G4 and then researched it and sure enough its true. 

Hell, when I was in sixth grade my science teacher showed us an article that was literally the size of an obituary about how we were almost hit by an asteroid the size of texas. Why wouldnt that be a huge article? Why? Because we are crazy and that would have caused a huge crisis even though it missed us. 

Yesterday was a wonderful day.

Today, not so much. 

This morning I got a phone call saying that two of my dogs were missing so I spent most of the morning at school crying because I was so scared that what happened to Buddy would happen to them. 

My dogs are my babies. I love my pets and I really dont care if you are rolling your eyes right now but they are a huge part of my family. Thats how I was raised and its how I will raise my daughter. A dog is mans best friend. 

Luckily, I didnt have to cry all day. About three hours after they went missing they just walked back into the yard. 

Crisis averted! 

Thank GOD!!!!!!! 

After that I got a wonderful client, that at first was very concerned with the fact I was white. She told me about three times she just wanted her hair done right and wanted to make sure that I could do it and if I couldnt to please get a darker more experienced student. 

HOLD UP! 

Is this not 2012? Arnt we all heinz 57's at this point? Come the fuck on! 

So, instead of telling this woman exactly what I thought of her comment and her obvious racial issue, I killed her with kindness. I reassured her that I was very capable and just got started. She wanted her hair done with rollers and I even talked her into a manicure while her hair was drying. Before I even put the first roller in her hair it was like blinders were put on her eyes and she no longer saw me as the white girl doing her hair, I was the confident cosmetologist with funny stories. I love working through bullshit racist bullshit with a smile. 

When I was was done she lover her hair, she loved her nails, and she is coming back to get more done. 

I also got a ten dollar tip which will go right into my gas tank. SWEET! 

Today was a roller coaster and Im ready to just chill and get some sleep. 

How was yall day? Good? Bad? Ugly? Tell me about it.

Come on Tampax!

I seriously just read on the Tampax facebook under their FAQ's,

"Is it ever okay/safe to use two tampax tampons at the same time?"

ARE YOU KIDING ME!?!?!?!?!?!

Who would ask that? Why would you even try? Can we say....trashy?

Not to be all TMI or anything but honestly one regular sized one hurts, why on earth would anyone try to put two up there at the same time? And, apparently its been asked by quite a few people to end up on the front of their facebook page?? WOW! 

I am so sorry if that was to much info but I saw that and was seriously flabbergasted. Why would anyone.....ugh....gross and oww

Comment if you agree or if your as disgusted as I am.

This is totally not like me but I entered this haircontest thing and it would be awsome if all of yall awesome readers would go vote for me!!!! Thanks and have an awesome day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Follow this link:

http://www.greatamericanhairshow.com/entry/215

Birthday plans

19 days till my 22nd birthday!!!!

What to do? What to do? 

Seriously, last year sucked. I didnt even get trashed on my 21st birthday because of a few reasons. 

1. Cody was with me and he doesnt like clubbing so his negative energy was breaking me down. 

2. We went to a club that wasnt really my scene

3. My sister and her friends got so trashed they literally almost threw up on me so I was stuck babysitting till we got home then I was like peace out. 

4. All of my so called friends didnt show up and didnt care that I traveled over 1500 miles to see them and celebrate with them.

So! This year I want to have a birthday extravaganza! 

I have no idea what that means but maybe all of yall can help?

What have you tried in the past for your birthday bashes that have worked and what has bombed miserably? 

A few people want to take me to the casino, is that ever a good choice? haha, I know this little native has never been to a casino. Shocker! 

Comment!!!!!!! Tell me what to do!!! Share your stories!! 

Cosmetology School vs Reg College

I actually got a message today from someone wanting to know the difference I have seen between going to cosmetology school and attending a regular college. So that is what I am going to blog about. 

When I graduated from high school I was still very lost. I was great at a lot of things and the one teacher that helped guide me and was like the help to my driving force to succeed just left and I felt so betrayed. I was the only one on our entire newspaper crew to not be told about it and it was suppose to be the year to rule over all others. We had so much planned and a whole other group was also stemming off of that. I was alone and everything got messed up. So when I graduated I was done with it all. My heart was broken and really wasnt ready for it to happen again for another four years. I missed out on a lot and that was mainly my fault. Traditional college just wasnt for me. I was overwhelmed to tears every time I even looked at a college application. I knew I worked my ass off enough to get in but I guess my anxiety took control. 

I did eventually start going to college and like I said it just wasnt for me. I refused to drop out because I am just not that girl. I refused to and I was depressed the entire time. The work was sometimes so easy I waited to the last second to do it and ended up getting behind and others it was so hard that every single time I looked at it I got a migrain. Traditional college is wonderful for some people but for others its like going through 2 to 4 years of total hell to maybe get the job you dream of. 

One of my biggest problems with traditional college is that you are required to take courses that have nothing to do with your major and you will forget probably the moment that you leave. Why take classes that you will never use? Why spend money on something that more than likely will not help you in the future? I know that I study stuff on my own that generally wouldnt help me at all and it is just useless information to most but thats my choice. I dont see why I would have to do it for college though. It seems out dated to me. Bottom line traditional college is great but at the moment it just isnt for me. And, when my munchkin is older of course I will strive for her to be the girl that college does work for and she has the best college experience. I want her to be able to get what I didnt and have a great time doing it. I want her to be happy. 

That being said, if she seriously just cannot handle it like I couldnt then we will look at other options. 

Like Cosmetology school! It really should be called a college to because we go over a lot. Anatomy, chemistry, physiology, design, art, etc...We do it all. I am not just a hair dresser. I am a cosmetologist. I love my school and I feel like I am doing really, really well. There are only one or two things (like fingerwaves) that are giving me some trouble but I feel like I am doing something I am suppose to be doing and am excelling at it. Some days I dont feel like doing anything and thats normally when I see another student kicking ass on a hairstyle or I get a client that is in serious need of a relaxing facial because she is a social worker and just finished a huge case. So, I need to deliver and I can! Who knows maybe I just saved a kids life because she is relaxed and can focus better at work. See something her normally stressed out eyes wouldnt. I am learning to not only brighten the lives of others by helping them destress, raise their self esteem, or get back to feeling beautiful but I am learning how to make my world beautiful. I am getting to try out new styles for myself and learn how to eventually help make my daughter see how beautiful she is because I will be able to do her hair every day. I will be able to show her how to properly apply make up and I will be able to show her that there is no shame in accenting her inner beauty along with her outer beauty. When I was younger, I was a bit of a tom boy and always thought that that was what I had to look like. If I dressed up or did anything girly people would either make fun of me or treate me differently and it killed my ambition. I have always wanted to go to cosmetology school. I have always wanted to learn the tricks of the trade and make the world some walking art. If I would have just believed in that aspect of myself then I would have been in cosmetology school a long time ago. I would own my own salon by now or I would be touring with a band or something as their stylist. I believed in myself but I only believed in the side of myself that was comfortable and I knew. That was the biggest travisty of it all. I didnt have that support system set up and when I did I took it for granted. 

Dont ever take your parents for granted because one day they wont be there to help you anymore. Dont just assume that because they are riding you about your grades that they are just being jerks. They are trying to get you to see your potential and they are just proving how much they do love and care about you. I am going to parent my child and I am going to prove how much I love her. I see kids today that are horrible. They are disrespectful, have an excuse for everything, and Im sorry to say, they will never make anything of themselves. They will continue making excuses and blaming the world for their own mistakes. I learned that the hard way but I am finally fixing it. 

If you have a dream, follow it! If you believe in something, then believe it! Dont let anyone hold you down or any excuse keep you from your future. 

If college isnt for you dont settle for the first job you can find. Look at technical schools, beauty institutes, apprentanceships, internships, study abroad programs, and whatever else your dream deals with. Money isnt going to last forever. I know that it helps to make life easier but it also helps to make life much more stressful. Write that down. =)

Diet Soda Drinkers BEWARE!

I KNEW IT!!!!! 

Bam diet soda drinkers!!! Pay attention!

I just read in this article that daily diet soda drinkers have an increased risk of having a heart attack, stroke, kidney troubles, preterm delivery, and (shocker moment!) weight gain! I knew this from the get go. Which is a huge reason why I do not and never have drank diet soda. Soda on a regular isnt that great for you but diet soda uses like fake sugars and stuff to create the same taste with out the calories. Sorry but that just doesnt sound like a better choice. 

A few years ago when all these diet sodas and low calorie chips came out, I was very wary of it because right on the bottle or bag it would say may cause loose stool (diarrhea) and does not actually help with weight loss unless paired with the correct diet and work out plan. So, all those people out there that were trying to cut corners not only wouldnt loose any weight but would have alot of bathroom trips. EWWWWWWWW! 

From the git go, I have been very against my daighter drinking soda, kool-aide, or anything really sugar filled. I still water down her juice so its easier on her stomach and have gotten into huge fights with my in laws because they tried to sneak her sodas or tea. I dont mind the tea so much if its watered down and I mean really watered down. They put way to much sugar in it for it even really to be considered tea. 

I just wanted to share that tid bit with ya because I found it hilarious that everything I thought for so many years is finally being proved. Which sucks on one side because people have been hurt, gotten sick, or even died but its good because now people will know to be a bit more careful with what they put into their bodies. 

When I was younger I didnt appreciate the beautiful place that I lived. I took the amazing scenery and all the opportunities for granted and now I sound like an uppity bitch because every other word out of my mouth, normally is about how much better Florida is than Arkansas. 

I miss my home so much. I never felt at home when I was there but I feel even more out of place here. It is hard to explain and severely simple all at the same time. 

Florida has its problems just like everywhere else but it has my heart. I miss the beach and all its wonder. I miss St. Augustine. I miss my mall, as pathetic as that sounds. I miss going to the club with my girls and mudding with my boys. 

I cannot tell a lie, I have had fun up here in Arkansas but there is nothing to do or people to do it with. Everything costs money or ends up costing something because you have to drive so damn far to do it. Everyone talks about how fun this or that is but when its the season to do it...no one is....

I just keep telling myself just seven more months. Even then, my heart is a little sad. At times I sit and think what my life would be like if I had stayed in Florida when I left or if I would have moved back when I planned on it, I should have stayed but then I wouldnt have what I have now. I love my durango. I love my school and I wouldnt have that if I would have stayed. I had to be responsible and I am happy with my choice but I always wonder. I know I need to stop doing that. I cant change my past choices, just improve on my future ones. 

Florida bound as soon as I can, and this time it will be well planned out and work. 

Updated the blog, yo!

I have obviously updated my blog quite a bit. To be honest I felt that it needed it. I have really been thinking about it and although this is my outlet maybe there are quite a few other women or men, out there with no outlet for their frustrations and can relate to me. I know many more people follow me than what is listed and if I make a difference in your' life then I take that as an honor, even if the difference comes from you being like," well her life is fucked up, let me not go down that path." 

I am going to make it my mission to blog every single day and be as candid as possible without being a total bitch. After all life is far to serious of a issue to take too seriously.

The only other thing that I want to discuss in this blog is this Ink Master reality tv show. How do you become one of their human canvases? Cause, to be honest that would be awesome and scary as hell. Yes, some of these tattoo artists are the best in the world but of course there are a few on the show that I really wonder how in the hell they wound up there. I would hate to get on there and end up with the tattoo artist that really sucks but you risk that possibility every single time that you walk into a tattoo parlor you havent been to before. Tattoos are forever. Even with wrecking balm or laser removal, tattoos are forever. Would you take a chance and let a complete stranger, on a reality tv show tattoo you? 

Slavery In America

So just read an article about a woman that was enslaved to this really really rich woman in New York. She was a nanny and a maid for five years and only received 29,000 dollars in the total amount of time. She had to live in a closet and was never allowed to leave. Which, was apparently due to people telling her that because she was an illegal alien she would owe her boss money for taxes or something. What kind of crap is that? Turns out "V.M" was owed almost 209,000 dollars in wages and that doesnt even included benefits she was denied or vacation time. This woman worked almost 18 hours a day, for 7 days a week. That is ridiculous! 

Let me go on the record and say that if you are rich, it does not give you the right to be a total douchebag and use people however you see fit! You are not God and you do not own anyone! 

I know that there are many more stories like this out there and it pisses me off and frightens me. 

Slavery comes in many forms and is hidden really well. Some times in plain sight. 

The majority of prostitution is actually slavery. These woman are beat down so far and so demoralized that they truly believe that they have to pay their pimp for services they rendered; that their pimp will protect them. But, who goes to jail? Who can get killed? Who gets std's and pregnancies with no help? Not the pimp. I have watched so many documentaries that flat out prove the pimp doesnt do shit but trick the girl into thinking that she needs him when really he is only there for his benefit. She is just a money making tool that can be replaced. Its disgusting. 

You can be slaves for sex, slaves for housekeeping, slaves for family; slaves for anything. In a lot of cases people just turn a blind eye to it or allow it to happen because if you were to make money doing what ever it was that you were doing, it would be illegal. Its a fucked up system. 

The women "V.M" worked for those people for five years and in five years no one did a damn thing. They allowed it to happen. They turned a blind eye to it. They just accepted what was going on and played into her fear. At least she will get her back pay of 200,000 dollars but what about all those others out there that never will? The 1% control the country because they have the money to own us. I call bullshit on that but I also hang my head in shame because it is true. I am in beauty school and one of the most evident money making things that we learn is to aim at a higher client base but that doesnt always mean a good tip. 

Which brings up that millionare dude that gave a 1% tip on a 100 dollar bill. That waitress was probly back and forth for an hour or more making sure they had everything they needed or wanted for their expensive ass meal and she was tipped a dollar? It was pathetic. He should be ashamed of himself. I know that I have gone out to dinner before and havent been able to leave a large tip even though the service was awesome but it was literally because I didnt have the money to leave it. But when I do, I tip well because I know the work that goes into being a waitress. That guy was just being a douche bag because he is rich and he can. 

Slavery in America is disgusting, disturbing, and disgraceful. It happens because we allow it to and turn a blind eye to it. The slavery comes in many forms by many different people or things. You can be a slave to your wallet, to your family, to your position, and even to yourself. You can be a slave to your race, your sexual orientation, and to your habit. We are suppose to be one of the most powerful countries in the world and we still deal with one of the most out dated issues because we are slaves to greed, lust, and our lazy lifestyles. 

Food Etiquette for other countries

The last few days have been stressful to say the least.

On our way to school Wednesday morning my little munchkin just threw up all over the back of my truck. No warning. Just bleakdfhjwoeirsdf.....That was an instant U-turn. We were about three miles away from her school and I just said to myself well we are going to be out for a few days. 

I knew that a few other kids have been coming down with this stomach bug and wasnt even going to take my chances with it. We went right to her doctors (after we came home and took a nice long bath). Sure enough the doctor said she had the stomach virus and it would last for about three to four days. I had to take a medical leave from school so that my attendance wouldn't get messed up. The worst thing about it all is that she is getting thrush from the virus. She has never had thrush! Ugh! Its horrible. 

Today has been much better.

I did a deep cleaning of the house and oh my god! I cannot believe how messy this place was. Of course, if I dont clean for a week it all turns to crap because I am the only one that knows how to clean in this place. Seriously. I cant knock my mother in law too much though. She does try but its like she never learned how to clean. What she does is what my mother would have grounded me for as a kid. She half ass cleans and its horrid. I even cleaned out from underneath the fridge and I dont think that has ever been cleaned in this house...ever. It was nasty! I dont hate living here but it really makes my OCD go absolutely crazy! I just dont get how people dont know how to clean up after themselves. If you clean it up when your done with it, you dont have to clean it later and you can enjoy the rest of your day but if you half ass clean then you have to go back later and do it again and again. Just take care of it the first time and you'll be done with it. Serious question though, how freaking hard is it for someone to throw their damn trash away? You are done with it, its trash; throw it the fuck away! Okay? I am gone all week. I just dont understand. You use a dish, put it in the damn dish washer. If it is full, run it! If it is done going empty it! If you have dirty laundry put it in the hamper. If you see that the living room is dirty clean it up, USE A DAMN VACUUM! 

I dont know how else to say it to you people! Clean up after yourselves! Be adults! Dont be petty and try to blame it on my daughter whom is also in school all week!! 


Okay now that I am done with my little rant I am going to write on an article I just read. Food etiquette in other countries- kind of self explanatory. Best one I read was "never mix or turn down vodka in Russia". Epic! Russians and their vodka; I can relate. LOL! Seriously though, do not turn down or mix the vodka! 
Okay, next one was "in China dont flip the fish". I can actually attest to this. When I was in Hong Kong, on a medical mission with Operation Smile, one of the in countries doctors like flipped out on one of the other girls on the mission because she flipped the fish. Its normal when you are eating a fish to flip it over when you get done with one side, but not in China. That is like a bad omen to the fisherman who caught the fish and the chef who prepared the fish. By flipping the fish over you are wishing the fishermans boat to capsize and the chefs prosperity to decrease. I really dont know where they got all that but that is how it was explained to me and basically how it was written in the article. 
And, the last one that I want to write about it, "in Mexico dont use a fork while eating a taco". Apparently that is snobby and rude. Personally, I dont care either way. I prefer taco salad to a messy taco but that is because the taco just breaks anyway. I wouldnt care about using a fork but its an easy way to be seen as a tourist. Just like you dont order cappuccino after noon in Italy. You are seen as a tourist and thats not a good thing. 
Actually, its a horrible thing. Every time I was out of the country I was told to tell people I was from Canada for my own safety. If some one asks just say your Canadian and go with it. America is fucking awesome because we are bullies and can back it up but we are also hated for that so protect yourself. I never like to be seen as a tourist besides that because tourists are rude and take no consideration for the people or animals living in the place that they are visiting. And that stems from growing up in Florida. I was a true Floridian and I hated tourists because they always messed up everything. Especially the fourth of July on the beach. You want to hang with your friends and family and you cant because they are everywhere being rude, getting to drunk, getting their rental cars stuck in the sand, and starting shit they didnt need to start. 
Well there is my rants and ravs for the night.