When I was younger I didnt appreciate the beautiful place that I lived. I took the amazing scenery and all the opportunities for granted and now I sound like an uppity bitch because every other word out of my mouth, normally is about how much better Florida is than Arkansas. 

I miss my home so much. I never felt at home when I was there but I feel even more out of place here. It is hard to explain and severely simple all at the same time. 

Florida has its problems just like everywhere else but it has my heart. I miss the beach and all its wonder. I miss St. Augustine. I miss my mall, as pathetic as that sounds. I miss going to the club with my girls and mudding with my boys. 

I cannot tell a lie, I have had fun up here in Arkansas but there is nothing to do or people to do it with. Everything costs money or ends up costing something because you have to drive so damn far to do it. Everyone talks about how fun this or that is but when its the season to do it...no one is....

I just keep telling myself just seven more months. Even then, my heart is a little sad. At times I sit and think what my life would be like if I had stayed in Florida when I left or if I would have moved back when I planned on it, I should have stayed but then I wouldnt have what I have now. I love my durango. I love my school and I wouldnt have that if I would have stayed. I had to be responsible and I am happy with my choice but I always wonder. I know I need to stop doing that. I cant change my past choices, just improve on my future ones. 

Florida bound as soon as I can, and this time it will be well planned out and work.