Four Year Old wears Make-up

Apparently, this was such a big deal that Good Morning America had to do a whole piece on it. Personally, I dont see the big fucking deal. 

We dress up our kids all the time. It doesnt matter where you are from, what your religion is, or how old you are we all indulge in some form of "pretty-dom". I dont see the problem with the four year old girl from Indiana wearing some blush, eye shadow, and a cute dress. Thats an American statute. Hello, have you never seen toddlers and tiara's? Those girls do the whole shibang! They even do fake tans and use so much product in their hair, Im pretty sure they are flammable while on that stage. Why give that blogger mom so much flap over putting a small amount of make-up on her little four year old diva? 

I have played dress up with Alyssa already and she is only two. Its a girly thing to do and a great way to bond with your daughter. We all strive to be pretty, to look beautiful, and to make each other feel better about ourselves. She watches me get ready for school, work, and my mommy nights out and its only normal for her to be curious about what I am putting on my face. I would draw the line if I had a little boy because it means different things for a little boy to be that feminine. 

I dont think that this should have made national news given the fact that little girls have been wearing make up and dressing up since the beginning of time. 

Then again there is a line to when its too much and when moms can begin to ruin their daughter natural beauty by putting a whole bunch of crap on them. I think spray tanning shouldnt be done till at least ten (if ever), flippers (fake teeth) come off fake and normally dont look right anyway, eyeliner and dark lip sticks just make little girls look trashy, and dressing your children in cloths that look like they are meant for young adult is just sad. 

 

On top of all of that I am a cosmetologist and I know that when Alyssa gets older she will have more beauty techniques available to her but I will never let it rule her life. 

Only other thing that I have to say (on a total different subject) I absolutely hate searching for a place to live only online. I wish I would have went and looked around while I was down there. I have my sister and my step dad helping me look for places but I have a feeling that this stress I am beginning to feel will only get worse before it gets better. 

South Beach Tow

So, I am watching South Beach Tow and I want to throw something at the darn TV. There is a woman who got her Mercedes SUV towed because she was an idiot and didnt pay the meter for two hours. Come to find out she left  her $3000 dog in the dog carrier in the back with all the windows rolled up and it was really hot out side. 

In all that dog was in that car for a total of like 5 hours before it was taken out and it was over 100 degrees outside, so you know the inside had an index of at least 30 degrees. That dog was baking, literally baking in that bullshit SUV because that bitch was too busy with something else. Then she came to the tow place and tried to make it out like they stole her dog. All I kept thinking was "Bitch! That dog doesnt matter to you! It didnt matter to you to take it out of the hot ass car!! No one stole it you should go to jail for what you did to that dog!" That is straight up animal cruelty and that shit really pisses me off. 

When you have a pet, you are taking the responsibility of their life into your hands. You have to take that shit seriously. A pet is a member of the family, a child you have to take care of, love, and take the responsibility seriously. 

What Dreams really mean?

Found it rather interesting what I just read about dreams. I have studied dreams, the meaning of dreams, and why we have dreams but I still found this article worth while because of the new studies that have gone into people and dreams. 

It caught my interest immediately because it scared the be-jesus out of me. I did not know that violent/vivid dreams could be a sign of later health problems like parkinsons and dementia. I mean it makes sense. Your brain cannot truly rest when you are thrashing about in your sleep, so eventually it would begin to suffer from some form of brain damage. 

Which leads to the second fact in the article, that night owls have more nightmares. Well, of course. Just like I just stated, if you deprive your brain of enough sleep it will begin suffer. Some people have actually died having night terrors and extreme cases of insomnia. 

It continues, with two very obvious facts. Men most often dream about sex right before they wake up in the morning, which is exactly the opposite of women who normally have more nightmares and wake up in slight terror. So, they do not match up. Men wake up wanting some and women wake up in fear and more than likely just want a cuddle to calm their fears. Alas, we are all fucked. 

Then, it states that gamers are more likely to have lucid dreams (dreams they can control) because they are use to controlling their alternate realities anyway. Gaming is like a training for lucid dreams. So, for post war veterans that suffer from PTSD could use that as a way to alter their horrible nightmares into carefree, calming dreams. So, to all you wonderful and awesome veterans out there that are suffering from PTSD, start gaming. It could calm you. I would have to agree with that statement too. Our ex-roommate was suffering from really bad PTSD and what seemed to calm him the best was playing video games and with in a few months began to become more social and eventually was just as he was before the PTSD set in. Even found himself a wife, which before that he was totally against marriage.

I always dream. When I was pregnant my dreams were horrible at times and others they were so vividly beautiful I woke up crying in joy. It was crazy. Sometimes my dreams come true. Im not saying I have esp or anything. But think about it, there are so many secrets of the mind, who is to say that we dont tap into those secrets in sleep. 

On a different note, my Saturday was pretty good. I was working in the salon all morning, got my truck worked on during my lunch, and then had a very awesome after noon back in the salon.  

It was exhausting though. Its weird to look at a clock and see that its nine p.m. and think, "Its bed time." I cant even go out with friends because I get exhausted before the clubs even get going! I am only 22!! In alot of ways that really sucks but in many more it proves that I am at least doing something in my life and am doing enough to exhaust me. Part of the reason I use to be so insomniatic was because I didnt exhaust myself, I didnt wear out my energy, or test myself. I went from being this really physical Olympic Weightlifter to a shell of a person and I never did anything, besides maybe have sex. Which, wasnt that great of a choice. Lady's when you find you s.e.x dont go crazy with it. I didnt but I did. I didnt have a whole bunch of partners but I let it control my life for a while. I use to have sex like five or six times a day. It was great and it was horrible. 

Well, that got off subject a bit. 

Nonomom fake

Why on earth would anyone fake being pregnant with nine babies? Its going to be pretty obvious in no time at all that your a liar and arnt really pregnant. I mean come on, was she really that dumb? Obviously because she did it. It because global news and as quickly as it did, she was found out. You cannot get that much publicity without all of your dirtiest secrets and truths coming out. Total idiot alert! 

Anyway...

Another thing I read about and would like to rant about is that little girl in Australia who got sever brain damage from eating at KFC. Well, that is one place I am never going to eat again. I know it was back in 2005 and in another country but guess what 2005 was just two seconds ago in my mind, and Australia isnt like a 3rd world country or anything. Its fucking Australia. If it could happen there it could happen here. It probably has and settled out of court or was hush hushed some how. The report listed that KFC was fighting to make sure that little girl didnt receive a dime and was making plans to appeal the decision. She was poisoned in your restaurant and  you want to fight to make sure she will never receive the medical coverage she needs? She is brain damaged now. I looked up a picture of the little girl, she use to be normal and now is confined to a wheel chair. She isnt the same person. Its sad and ridiculous. I think I want to over all stop eating fast food after this because it could happen anywhere and you never know if the person fixing the food actually cares about there job or the food they are preparing. 

I dont want to risk my daughter to brain damage because someone neglected to keep the damn chicken in the freezer before cooking it or undercooking it. 

Enough about all of that. Its depressing. 

I know that it is probably becoming annoying hearing me talk about Florida and I knwo that its not fucking perfect but its home and you are always proud of your home, or at least you try to be. 

Again, I state that I cannot wait to go home. 

I am so done with living up here and some of the people up here. I am so done with not being able to be friends with who I want to be friends with, see who I want to see, do what I want to do, or be myself. I hate how sheltered I have to be up here, how I have to walk on egg shells around certain people and its so fucking aggravating. 

Tonight, I took Alyssa over to her great grandparents house to see them and spend some time with her cousins. It was going all great and dandy but the longer I sat there and tried to keep a conversation going with the adults in the room, the more I felt like I should just keep my mouth shut because they dont want to even hear my voice right now. They are all too mad at me for wanting to move. They hate me right now and no one can tell me differently. I feel the daggers, I can hear the tones change when something is directed at me, and everything I say is clearly taken with a grain of salt even if it was a compliment. I cannot wait to get away from the negativity and I know it is going to get even worse as time goes on. When I actually set a date its going to be horrible. 

Not looking forward to it at freaking all! 

Well thats enough for tonight. 

Florida Im coming home!!!

Florida, oh Florida! 

I am coming home!! 

I didnt realize how much I truly missed it till I was there. I turly miss my family, I miss the environment, and in a weird way the new beginning. 

I made up my mind while I was still down there just a few days ago, that I was going to find a way to move down there as soon as possible. Which I have. =) 

I spoke with my advisor yesterday and today and due to the fact that my grades are awesome and I have an over abundance of credits, I will have no problem transfering and only have to pay a small fee for transfering instead of a huge massive one that would be hell to pay. 

So June or July I am going to be Florida bound again. SWEET!!! So excited!!! 

Just gotta find a house and pack all my stuff....again. 

Have to love moving, NOT. But this time is well worth all the headache. 

Bed! Its calling my name. 

More in the morning =) 

Futurama and South Park

I am absolutely bored and feeling rather lazy because tomorrow is my first official day back to reality. So, instead of writing about something serious and depressing, I am going to write about my guilty secret pleasures. Which begin with Futurama and South Park. I can pretend like I dont like the shows, that they are retarded, immature, and lame but that would be a huge lie on my part. When I am feeling down and stressed out its like I shut off an entire portion of my brain and induldge in the stupidity that is Futurama and South Park. 

I always feel like my IQ drops from watching shows like them but I cannot help but continue to view. I cannot shit them off. Unless a horrible commercial comes on, and I realize how pathetic it is. Then I usually go read a book or watch a documentery to make myself feel better about the bullshit I just allowed inside my brain. Its like when people are on a diet and then they have an uh-oh moment where they eat like four pieces of cake or cant just eat one chip. They eat a salad for dinner to try to make up for the bullshit that just happened. 

Now there are shows that I absolutely hate and cannot watch because they draw the line at ridiculous. For example, I cannot stand to watch too much robot chicken or declassified. 

What is your dirty pleasure? Too much candy? Liquor? Vodka? Porn? Bad television shows like futurama? Comment it.

Bridezillas!

I truly believe that they should do a universal bridezillas show. I know this is not just an American flaw. Sure there are a few women out there that are freaks of nature and dont flip out before their wedding and get super picky but the majority rules and makes us all look bad. Women become absolutely bi polar, ocd, and have huge multiple personality disorders. 

I know when I get rushed with anything I get really snappy but when it comes to women and weddings. Snappy doesnt do the actual case justice. We are aliens-monster freaks. Well, we become them anyway. Men do to but not nearly as bad. 

I must say though, a few of the brides on this show dont deserve to still get married after the shit they pull. I dont know how their men put up with them or accept the behavior. Its absolutely ridiculous. They act like spoiled, evil, toddler monsters. Some get violent, others try to cry their way in and out of situations, and most have absolutely no respect or regard for how their men feel. If my man was willing to help and foot some of the bill at least, I would not treat him like that. All I ask is for some cooperation and mutual respect/input. 

Lets talk about commercials

Well, actually let me begin with the fact that I am back in Arkansas =( and it was just as I imagined it would be. Freaking horrible with a tad bit of aggravation and a pinch of total bullshit. The second that I got home, I didnt get to clean out the car, rest, or anything before we had to continue to run around and deal with other peoples attitudes and issues. Mainly issues with me moving home sooner than November.

Which, Cody had to blurt out the second his family was all in the same house. I  barely got a chance to defend myself when the daggers started flying at me. 

This is my main issue with their issue of me moving back to Florida, they act like it is not a big fucking deal if I am stuck in fucking Arkansas. They dont care I am trapped in Arkansas, its no skin off of their backs and they just dont care. In fact they all confessed to trying to find a way to trap me here longer. They dont care that I am miserable, feel totally and utterly alone a lot, or that I am home sick, miss my family terribly, or that my daughter doesnt get to know that side of her family at all. They are just being selfish. I gave almost four years to Arkansas, put my dreams in my rearview mirror three times and either drove or flew away from Florida, my family, and my ambition. I cannot live for others. I cannot waist my time being unhappy and broken because of other peoples problems. Ive spent too much time doing it. 

Long story short, I had to have a long conversation with Margaret when I finally got a chance to relax last night because  she went off the fucking deep end at me for taking her grand daughter away. Whatever. 

Today was Alyssa's birthday party at the park and barely anyone showed up but thats okay cause it wasnt about everyone being there, it was about Alyssa spending the day at the park and enjoying herself. Her Papa and his family showed up, her great aunt and her family showed up, and of coarse Margaret was there but oh, Cody was not. He had to go to wrestling. His dad was livid and I think that was quite hilarious. 

The party itself was okay, really laid back, and I was seriously still jet lagged so alot I just let roll off me. 

When I got home however, I was so fucking pissed. Again, I sat down and was starting to unwind and she starts a weird ass fucking conversation that led straight to a huge fight. She asked if something happened to both Cody and I who would have Alyssa? And I was like WHAT THE FUCK? Did you cut my brakes or something? Why are you asking me this? She said its just something she thinks about and she said that she would prefer her and my mom to share custody which then led to her talking about the fact that we dont allow her to drive with Alyssa in her car. Um, yeah thats never going to change! You have seizures in the car, you have hit the house with your car having a seizure, you just had a huge wreck about a year ago to which you almost died because you had a seizure and tried to make it home. Like hell am I, Cody, or my mom going to allow you to drive with Alyssa in the car. She was like well if Alyssa had to be rushed to the hospital for something I would drive her, and I was like I would prefer you to call an ambulance. I had to say that like twenty times. She has seizures more often when she is stressed and thats a stressful situation. So no dont fucking take my daughter into your car and drive, possibly crash and possibly kill either of you or both of you. NO!

"Well, if you waver on it then Cody would"

To which I said,"I am never going to waver on that and you should respect my wishes." 

A few minutes later she spouts off about how she would fight for her grandparents rights and she would not be kept from Alyssa. That woman was fishing for a fight. Good thing I am still exhausted from the trip. 

I cannot say this enough, I cannot wait to move the fuck outa here and back to Florida!! 

Okay, so lets talk about commercials. Im done bitching. Anyway, commercials are so sarcastic now-a-days! Like every single one is condesending and snarky. But thats what makes it hilarious and people like them. I swear our intelligence levels have dropped so much that to sell us something you have to talk down to us. It use to be commercials were all about the integrity of the product, now they are filmed like youtube videos with a sarcastic twist. Examples: carfax, doritos, dr. pepper 10, and this weird phone thing that just takes you phone and sticks it to your head. Seriously, actually pay attention to the commercials when they come on. Its really sad but the majority of them are more interesting then the shows that are being paused for the darn commercials. Oh my goodness, like the one that is playing right now the direct tv commercials that are all like if you do this then this will happen and this will happen and that will happen, dont let that happen. Switch to direct tv. Oh, and my Nonna would absolutely roll over in her grave if she saw these trojan commercials for trojan bare skin condoms. She believed that it things like that were inappropriate and shouldnt be aired on channels all willy nilly like that. Condoms, tampons, birthcontrol...yeah she was really old school but still a massive hippy. She was like a starburst. 

Anyway, watch your commercials! They are hilarious. 

Florida Sunshine Arkansas Blue Pt 2

BOOOOO!!!! 

I dont want to leave!! 

This sucks on so many levels I can not even begin to elaborate on how much my heart is breaking with every single moment that passes. I dont want to leave. Do not. 

I have had entirely too much fun and am looking forward to entirely too much stuff to be even remotely happy that I have to drive all the way back to Arkan-freaking-sas. I am not looking forward to seeing all the people that piss me off, the attitudes at school, or the house that I will have to clean again when I get back because no doubt its a fucking disaster again, oh yeah and my dogs are probabyly sick and seriously underfed because I cannot trust any of them saying that they took care of them at freaking all. I still have to go pick up Kiniki, which sucks cause I was really hoping that my dad would watch him for a few months. Still trying to swing that one. 

I have to go pack and clean out my car then head to the grocery store and pick up my poor little puppy. This fucking sucks so fucking bad and yes this is a fuck situation.  

I am at home in Florida. I am relieved in Florida. I feel useful and alive when I am down here. I dont know why and I am not trying to say in anyway shape or form that its because Florida is perfect. Its not. No place is absolutely perfect and I know that Florida like any other state in the Union has its major down falls. I am just saying that I feel better here, I am me here, and I dont have to hide that. I love this land. I love this sunshine, the oranges, the touristy shit thats like two hours away, the beaches that are like 30 mins away in any direction, the people who are happier, the enviroment that is prettier, and I just love my home. It took me moving away to figure it out but I know now. 

Seriously trying to swing it were I can transfer in June or July. I get my check in May, that gives me an extra month to move all my shit and be prepared. 

"God, please keep us safe in our journey back to Arkansas and if its the right thing to do please make moving back here possible in June or July. Amen"

6-year-old handcuffed

I dont feel bad for that little freak of a child in anyway. If you havent read or seen the story yet you should. Georgia police had to handcuff a 6-year-old girl after she reportedly have a massive tantrum but guess what folks that was no freaking tantrum that was a child that has way more issues. 

She reportedly was biting the door knob to the principles office, broke and tore pictures off the wall, knocked over a shelf that injured the principle, and was jumping on top of a shredder. 

Like I said I dont feel sorry at all for that little girl, she needed some harsh discipline and she got it. It is rather sad though, that her parents are being so laid back about her behavior and not punishing her the way she should be. If I would have had an outburst like that at school, to the point the cops had to of been called I would have been begging the cops to put me in jail (even at six) because my mom would have tore my ass up and then I would have had a months worth of chores to do. My cousins had outbursts like that but they are mentally handycapped and when they were little like that they literally didnt know better. But for this little girls mom to just ride it off as she was having a bad mood swing, well that just proves how much of an idiot her mother is. 

I praise the police for handcuffing that little girl and putting an end to her destruction of that principles office and ask, if she was capable of doing this to an office of her principle, what would she have been capable of doing inside her classroom to those other kids? She was capable of injuring her principle, she is definitely capable of hurting other kids. I dont know about you but when I was a kid I was petrafied of being sent to the principles office. The principle was like the highest teacher in the school, in my mind. And, you didnt fuck with the highest teacher because then that highest teacher calls your mom or your dad and then you not only have to deal with the bs at school then you are grounded at home and have chores and homework and cant go play. Its like hell to kids. Well, it was like hell to me when I was a kid and thats how it should be. Thats a reason why our country is going to shit. Parents arnt diciplining their children like they are suppose to, parents arnt being parents, and little punk ass kids are getting away with shit like this. That little girls parents should have to face charges for what their daughter did, since she is 'too young' to be prosecuted.  They should have to pay for everything she broke and make a public appology to her school and principle and police officer that had to arrest her. I am so fucking proud that the police chief isnt appologizing for this and is standing be hind his man for smacking those handcuffs on her. 

I know my daughter will never behave like that and if she did then she wouldnt be coming home to a mom whom rides the whole thing off as a bad mood swing and automatically wants to start a civil rally against the police officer whom was just doing his job and a damn good job at that. 

Here is the link to go read the article:

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/6-old-girl-handcuffed-police-over-tantrum-001249882.html

Temper tantrums from Mom

I am throwing the biggest temper tantrum right now!! I dont want to leave Thursday and time just keeps moving forward!! It sucks!! I do not want to drive away from Florida again! I still havent seen a few of my friends, I want more time with my dad, and I still havent gone to the beach. My heart is absolutely breaking right now and I know that I am behaving badly. I just dont want to leave yet! 

I was seriously contemplating calling my advisor and requesting an extension on my leave but I know that wouldnt fly. I have responsibilities I have to get back to and I just dont want to do it. 

And on top of all of that I still have to find someone to take Kiniki because my step dad told me on Sunday that he just couldnt do it. He has to many dogs and I understand that. It just sucks that he cant take him for those few months. I didnt want to have to get rid of Kiniki and I dont want him just going to any home where he would probly end up in a pound or dead on a street somewhere. I am picky and proud but beggers cannot be choosers...damn my heart is so low right now. 

I sound like a spoiled bitch, ugh! I hate it! I wish is was just as easy to transfer down here, have a place to live, and know everything is going to be okay. 

Maybe I can transfer down here in May when I get the balance of my scholarship. I need to go look at houses and apply to some jobs down here....So much to do and only one and a half days left to do it. =( God grant me more time....that would be epically awesome!! 

BBQ and after party clean up

No beach yesterday but I did get to spend the entire day at my step dads for his huge bbq. It began for one of his friends but then Alyssa and I became the guests of honor (the other dude didnt mind though). It was wonderful getting to spend that time with my dad and letting him spend that time with his granddaughter. She had such a blast and ended up totally passing out on his couch. She played so hard and ran so much, I was actually surprised she didnt pass out somewhere outside. Like in a lawn chair or on one of the toys. 

There was alot of people there that I had never met before but it was cool getting to know who my dad has been hanging out with and goodness has he become a true hippy. I LOVE IT!! He is getting back to his native roots and really trying to make the best of everything. One of his closest friends now has a doctoret in Native American History and Mythology, and is a true shamen. Its so nice being able to have a real conversation with someone who actually knows what she is talking about. I cant wait to move back. 

They had music going, a real pit bbq, horse shoes, and my dad got Alyssa her first tricycle! It was adorable and she was so excited when she saw it. 

Then my cousin Tim passed out because he drank to much on an empty stomach and then hit the bowl. Not a really good combination. It was hilarious seeing him like that in the back of my truck. He needed to loosen up though, and relax because its like this year has just been one hit after another for him. 

We got to the bbq around 2:30pm and didnt end up leaving till around 10pm! It was a long but good day. 

This morning I got up and was expecting to have about 5 haircuts to do at my sisters day care but only ended up doing 2 because 2 girls quit and one girl was sick. Kinda bums me out, I was really looking forward to that money but Ill make it up some other way while Im here. If I dont it just means that I wont be able to go to the beach while Im down this time but it will be a good incentive for me to hurry up and get my ass down here. 

Everyone is and has been on my ass about moving back to Arkansas this past summer and not just staying in Florida when I was back, but this is what people need to understand, I was trying to make my family work. Everyone wants there family to work and will do some stupid shit trying to make it work and thats what I did. Its not my fault that my last ditch effort didnt work and I am planning on moving back but unless you are going to pay my way back home and make sure that I have a place to live and a job then back the fuck off! I have to do what I have to do to take care of my little one and be a responsible adult. My dad understands that, I wish others would to. I am thankful for at least having that back up. I have to graduate and have a way and then I will be back here where I belong, where I feel like I belong. Its not even about the people that are here, because alot of my friends I still havent seen and they havent made an effort to see me. Its the atmosphere and the relaxing vibe. I feel like the weather is even on my side here. I should have stayed in my backyard instead of staying as far as I did but then again if I wouldnt have then I wouldnt have my amazing blessing of a daughter and that may work for other people but not for me. She is my everything, point blank period. I am not one of those mothers that doesnt care about their kids or takes being a mother lightly. Everything regarding her rests on my shoulders, and I take that as a honor not an obligation. If more people thought like that the world would be a better place.

Well now that I have all of that off my chest, I guess I will help my sister out a bit and clean up from the parties we had this weekend. No, nothing is really cleaned up yet. LOL!! We had way to much fun for that! 

Florida Sunshine Arkansas Blues

To say that I have missed it down here would be a massive understatement. I know that no matter where I go my problems will be with me but down here I feel like I am free. The world isnt pushing down on my shoulders and I dont have everything lingering over my head threatening my life. Florida sunshine just makes me feel so much better; like the world is right and everything will be okay. 

I was suppose to go to the beach this morning but everyone is recuperating from the weekend, so Ill have to go Wednesday before I leave. 

The day after I got here, I got to go to my step dads house and hang out with him for a while which was wonderful! I missed him so much and he was such a glowing papa =) He was so proud of Alyssa and was such a happy Grampa. Its really nice to see my dad like that. Last time I was down he looked really rough. Then again, last time I was down he had just had a motorcycle accident that fucked him up pretty bad. Later today I am going back for a BBQ at his house with all of his friends. Its suppose to be a huge event. He is having horseshoes and volleyball, BBQ over a huge self built pit thing, and all kinds of other stuff. And he is going to watch Kiniki for me until I move back in November. Which is fucking awesome because I really didnt want to get rid of him. He is such a good dog and I love him so much, I really didnt want to rescue a dog just for him to go to someone else and then the pound. I fucking hate the fact that I cant keep him with me right now. But, at least I know he is going to be in good hands for a few months. 

After that we had my moms big 50th bash and it really was a bash!!! It was SO much fun!! I never thought having a party for a 50 year old would end up like that but my mother even got onto the trampoline!! And, yes I got pictures! After the little ones all went to bed (because almost all of us now have little ones) the shots started pouring and it was a festival!!! 

Yup it was a blast! 
Yesterday was also pretty cool, I know my munchkin had an awesome time. We went to the Jacksonville Zoo and although everyone started out pretty agitated, it all turned out great! Alyssa loved seeing the monkeys, the bears(that she growled at LOL!!), the Lions, the Gorilla, and the zoo even had a small waterpark for the kids. I was the only adult wearing cloths that were okay to get soaked so of course I was running around with all of them =) (Yeah lets blame it on the fact I was wearing a swimsuit and not the fact I am just a big kid that loves water activities) It made me feel so much better though. I was getting really worn out from the heat but that water really did the trick. Then we all came back to the house, dropped the kids off with their grandparents or babysitters and all went out for moms big dinner which ended up being a $300 bill. It was worth it though because it exactly what my mom wanted. 
I love Florida because of the atmosphere, the fun environment, the happy people, and the ability to do whatever I want when I want to do it because you can either walk, drive, or ride a bus anywhere and I dont even live in tourist Florida. I love my home and I really wish I would have realized this before I moved away because I wouldnt have left. I never want to leave and it is going to absolutely suck driving back to Arkansas. If it wasnt for school I wouldnt drive back. I would stay here and do whatever I had to do to have a place to call my own and keep Alyssa safe, happy, and healthy. Arkansas stresses me out. People are rude, and there is always something  breaking my heart. November wont come soon enough for me but this is going to be a great motivation for me to get everything done and keep my attendance up at school so I can graduate as soon as physically possible. 
Well I gotta get off of here for right now and figure out what Im doing with my morning =) 

Student Teacher Relationships

So, that teacher that went on National television to confess his love for his 18 year old former student was arrested this week on a charge from 1998 where he was with a 17 year old girl. 

Not that much of a shocker people! 

Seriously, I was just waiting for this shit to come into light. There is no way that his preditor ass hasnt done something like this before. You are attracted to what you are attracted to and some people are just disgusting and are attracted to people you arnt suppose to be attracted to, like your students. Its just wrong. 

Its a manipulation of power, that can happen on either end. 

It is not all his fault that these jailbate girls got with him. They could have said no, they could have not gotten naked and allowed him to touch them with his pervy hands, they could have been like "eww hes my teacher." or "was my teacher". 

I would straight up chop a guys balls off and feed them to him if he tried that shit with my daughter. I have no seconds thoughts about it but I am also going to make sure to educate my daughter on the pervish behaviors of men out there. Not all guys are bad but not all guys are good either and you shouldnt just trust someone because they are your teacher, principal, or boss. That power was given to them but it can be stripped away in the blink of an eye. 

Teachers shouldnt have their students facebook accounts or hangout with them outside of a mentor/mentee setting. Once the student has graduated, is of age, and is an adult then they can persue a relationship outside of that setting. Before then isnt appropriate. 

When I was in high school I placed my trust into a teacher that I thought actually cared about me. Not in a romantic way or anything, more like an uncle or a brother. He was a wonderful mentor and meant alot to me but my senior year it all fell away. He left with out telling me. I came into orientation expecting to see him and he was gone. We had so many plans and it ruined everything. Not only was I totally on my own in my own apartment without any family but now my one ambition in school was ruined. My senior year was shit without that class. I had thrown myself fully into it. I didnt have a back up plan or a back up alternative goal. He ruined everything but what hurt the most was that all of my supposed friends in that specific class had know for months that he wasnt going to be there and instead of telling me or giving some kind of a hint to hey your world is about to be thrown through a loop, they just graduated and left me too. 

If I wouldnt have had that family-ish relationship with him then my senior year would have been more well rounded. I wouldnt have fallen into such a gigantic depression. I wouldnt be where I am today. 

So, when I see stories like this it really makes me want to throw up. Teachers are suppose to guide you not take advantage of your obvious short comings. 

I worked my ass off for that class and put it where it needed to be and then was dumped on my head without a safety net or anything.

I can only imagine how much heart break that chick is going through because she had a more intimate relationship than I had. 

Beauty School Reality Show!!!

We really should have a reality show going for my school! Beauty School is the most drama filled educated place in the entire freaking world! The moment you think everything is okay, you and your friends were good, and everything is peachy freaking keen, and then BAM!! 

Everything falls to shit, you are treated like the outcast, there is an inside joke going down that only you have no idea about, and well you get the picture. We are like the Bad Girls Club, Desperate Housewives, Housewives of Atlanta, etc, all mixed together.

I dont want to get on here and talk about the same shit over and over again. That is pure madness. 

You know what is not pure madness!?! 

Going to Florida!!!!!

Which I am so ready for. I really wish I could just drive down there in the morning but I cant. I have to get the truck worked on, pack, Church, and Easter still to go. 

I know that I am going to be let down though, and I think I have prepared myself for it, as well as I possibly could. I know that my jackass baby daddy husband(whatever) is going to be a jackass, my sisters house is going to be crazy, and the few friends I do have will probably have something more important to do than meet up with me...so I have prepared myself as well as I can. I am determined to have a good time and spend my time in a good way. 

I am planning on looking at a few houses, finding out what I need to do to transfer my license, find a job or job possibilities, see my step dad, and BEACH!!! I plan on seriously getting a good tan before I come back here. I have to. Arkansas sucks. I cant stand being so white...my mom is seriously dark. I feel ill when I am this white. When I was younger I hated the sun, I didnt appreciate the beauty and wonder of it. I didnt appreciate the wonder that was my back yard. 

Anywho, I guess I am just not into a huge writing mood tonight. Im sure I will be in a few days. 

The Elephant in the room

What is that elephant in the room? Oh, wait! Thats me!! Damn! 

Today I felt like such an outcast at school and I have no idea why. I havent done anything to be treated like this and I am not a bad person. It really sucks! 

I havent betrayed anyones trust, talked bad about any person that has been a friend to me, and I keep to myself. Whatever. People suck. I have to stay guarded in almost every aspect of my life and now I have to add school to the list. If I want to share my creativity, I guess it will have to be in my portfolio not with like minded peers at school. Well, I guess they really arnt like minded since I am the outcast. 

I am so ready for my trip to Florida. I need to get away and clear my head. 

I hate feeling so alone, this sucks. 

Bedtime....

=(

Tornadoes in Dallas and Divorce Rings

So, I have been pretty out of it today because my allergies have spawned into an almost full on case of bronchitis but I almost freaked when I saw the devastation and pictures from the tornadoes in Dallas. My mom drives through there all the time and at first I couldnt get ahold of her. What made my slight hysterics worse was the fact the main picture I keep seeing, is one of a tractor trailer way up high in the air. 

Let me go on by saying that I freaking hate tornadoes!!!! Hurricanes I can deal with. Hurricanes have plenty of warning and they are just really bad thunder storms. Tornadoes are crazy bi polar bitches that flip out and cause devastation with hardly any warning and take about three minutes to destroy everything you hold dear. And, tornadoes can pop up anywhere! Even in places that geologically speaking they shouldnt. Luckily my mom had just left Texas and wasnt in harms way. This time. 

Next on my little agenda I wanted to talk about these divorce rings that are becoming popular. One of my favorite ones is actually a casket not a ring. When you get divorced and before you put on one of these special fuck off rings, what do you do with the old one? Well, some company came up with a wonderful idea! The designed a ring casket and it says "till death do us part" on the front. You can either keep the rings in the box, bury them, or mail them to your ex. Personally, I would always keep them reminding me of what I went through and why I need to be smarter about my choices. I just thought all the rings were an epic idea and really taps into a normally shunned society. Once upon a time if you were divorced it was a horrible thing. You should be ashamed of yourself, especially the woman, for not being able to keep your family together. Now its an everyday thing. Celebs get married and divorced in days times and politics still tries to hold marriage as such an important thing because they dont want gays to marry but with our statistics now...they would probly improve the percentages. 

Ever get the feeling that you are totally and utterly alone and the outcast? Well thats me today.