BOOOOO!!!!
I dont want to leave!!
This sucks on so many levels I can not even begin to elaborate on how much my heart is breaking with every single moment that passes. I dont want to leave. Do not.
I have had entirely too much fun and am looking forward to entirely too much stuff to be even remotely happy that I have to drive all the way back to Arkan-freaking-sas. I am not looking forward to seeing all the people that piss me off, the attitudes at school, or the house that I will have to clean again when I get back because no doubt its a fucking disaster again, oh yeah and my dogs are probabyly sick and seriously underfed because I cannot trust any of them saying that they took care of them at freaking all. I still have to go pick up Kiniki, which sucks cause I was really hoping that my dad would watch him for a few months. Still trying to swing that one.
I have to go pack and clean out my car then head to the grocery store and pick up my poor little puppy. This fucking sucks so fucking bad and yes this is a fuck situation.
I am at home in Florida. I am relieved in Florida. I feel useful and alive when I am down here. I dont know why and I am not trying to say in anyway shape or form that its because Florida is perfect. Its not. No place is absolutely perfect and I know that Florida like any other state in the Union has its major down falls. I am just saying that I feel better here, I am me here, and I dont have to hide that. I love this land. I love this sunshine, the oranges, the touristy shit thats like two hours away, the beaches that are like 30 mins away in any direction, the people who are happier, the enviroment that is prettier, and I just love my home. It took me moving away to figure it out but I know now.
Seriously trying to swing it were I can transfer in June or July. I get my check in May, that gives me an extra month to move all my shit and be prepared.
"God, please keep us safe in our journey back to Arkansas and if its the right thing to do please make moving back here possible in June or July. Amen"
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